Numb3rs does add up

A lot of people have asked my opinion about Numb3rs, simply because it's a TV show about maths (for you Americans out there, I mean 'math'). Being a writer with a degree in the subject, what I can say is that overall it's a pretty good show.

Dramatically, it's a buddy cop show with maths as the gimmick. One is a hardened FBI agent; his brother is a mathematical genius. The FBI comes up against tough cases, and the maths genius comes up with the clever way of solving them.

The stories are usually solid but unspectacular, and if it wasn't for the maths, it wouldn't be that interesting. The dialogue is actually pretty good and the character insights are well done, especially for the mathematical brother. Mathematicians like the world to fit. We're always looking for patterns and we get especially annoyed when something just doesn't jive. When we figure it out, we rejoice because the world makes sense again. I think the show at times captures that sort of thinking well.

The maths for the first season of the series is fairly solid. Credit for authenticity goes to a Professor at CalTech who acted as a consultant, and a lot of the techniques used are ones that have been applied in real-life cases. The only problem I forsee is that they'll run out of clever ideas and will have to resort to the stupid hand-waving technobabble that we see in most geek shows. The facts seem to bear this out; none of the first four episodes of the second season are as interesting as what's in the first season - mathematically speaking, that is.

On top of everything, the show also co-stars Navi Rawat, and I don't say no to a hot mathematician. What they say to me is a different matter altogether.

Labels: tv

Goal! (or why I now want to make a great football film)

Watching Goal! makes me want to go out and make a great film about football that excites the soul and infuses passion into even the naysayers. A film that non-football fans will watch and then lean back and say, "Ah, I get it now". A film whose footballing moments stir the blood to a frenzy and makes you explode with a roar when you see the ball hitting the back of the net. Because, you see, Goal! isn't that film.

Thank God I got to watch the film for free, because I would have felt cheated to have paid anything for it. They were giving out free tickets, you know. If they were doing that to generate good word-of-mouth, then I apologise for not paying them back in return, but it is a crap film. I have no idea how else to say it.

The short of it is that Goal! is about a young man who has grown up in the barrios of Los Angeles finally achieving his dreams and playing football for (wait fo it) Newcastle United. Ah well, it is fiction after all, and it is the first of a trilogy, so I suppose he'll go on to play for Real Madrid and at the World Cup and then perhaps become President of FIFA or something. The world is his oyster.

I have to admit that the first third of the film is actually fairly well done. It looks promising, lulling you into a sense of oh-this-looks-interesting-I-want-to-watch-this. And then it goes and beats you over your head with it's dull plotting, insipid dialogue and uninspiring football.

There are basically four threads in the story: His rise to success, his relationship with his father, his relationship with a girl and his relationship with a spoilt irresponsible star player. It is to the writers' credit that they have managed to keep each thread apart enough that it almost feels like we're watching four separate stories. There's no sense that it fits together as a whole.

The dialogue runs a fine line between adequate and sheer corniness. Corny lines are fine, in the right place. In the beginning, the scout asks the coach "Did you teach him how to play like that?". The response: "God taught him how to play". I loved that line, because I felt good about the movie at the time. Yah, it's corny, but it's great too. It's the sort of line that an enthusiastic mentor might proudly say of his charge. A hundred minutes later, another piece of dialogue ensued. It was corny as hell. And because I was fuming about the film already, it didn't seem so cutesy any more. I won't repeat it here, because I want you sit through the same rubbish that got me to that frame of mind before you hear it. If you're not hurling something at the cinema screen by that point, I commend you for your restraint.

But the biggest problem (and this is unforgivable) is that the film doesn't love football. For a movie that intends to celebrate the game, it compelely ignores the fact that the game isn't about winning (or life and death - it's more than that, remember?). A true fan of the game knows that it's about the moments. Michael Owen beating two Argentinian defenders to hammer home a goal at the World Cup. David Beckham petulantly lashing out at an Argentinian later that same game. The highs and the lows. Yes, you win, but you also lose, and the contrast is what's important. To win in itself is nothing. That's why nobody remembers any of the 4-0 thrashings Man Utd gave lower ranked teams, but everyone remembers the last-minute comeback they had against Bayern Munich.

In the film, skill is demonstrated with closeups of players legs doing 360 turns. The film doesn't get that you can't watch the game from three feet away. You need to give it it's due stage. You need to see an skillfully executed move in its entirety to be amazed, not some fast-shifting, out-of-focus barf-a-vision alternative. I could download ten clips of football from the Internet that is each more inspiring than the film. Why didn't they watch those clips and recreate that excitement?

Finally, the film doesn't realise that the game and its players in real life is greater than the moments it tries to portray. Early on, the kid takes bets, where he shows he's skillful enough to shoot the football down an alley into a dumpster. A dumpster. A f&&#*^* dumpster. I could hit a ball into a dumpster half the time. Do these guys not know the story of a young Roberto Baggio playing in the streets? He used to kick out street lightbulbs with his football.

Later on, he shows his determination to stay and practice and improve by hitting balls into an empty net. From inside the penalty box. If you blindfolded me, I don't think I could have done much worse. Here's a hint to the writers: David Beckham's father used to bring a tyre along when his son practiced. Here, let me write up a free scene for you.

EXT. FOOTBALL PITCH - NIGHT

SANTIAGO is on the football pitch. In the backgroud, the GROUNDSKEEPER is watching Santiago practice. Santiago has lined up footballs and is kicking them into a net one by one with monotonous regularity. He's hitting them hard, but it's an empty goal, so it's no big deal.

The Groundskeeper walks off screen and comes back rolling a tyre and some rope. Santiago watches him as the Groundskeeper ties the rope to the tyre and then hoists the tyre so it hangs under the goal crossbar, in one corner. Santiago looks quizzically at the Groundskeeper. The Groundskeeper points to the tyre. Santiago gets it.

Santiago now is kicking footballs at the goal, but he's aiming for the tyre. He keeps missing at first, but then he finally hits the tyre. Santiago beams at the Groundskeeper. How's that?

The Groundskeeper stares back hard at Santiago.

GROUNDSKEEPER

No... _through_ the hole.

Yeah. I want to make a movie about football.

The ISA is bad? Not so much, really

Okay, as part of my daily trolls for content for the The PPS Review podcast (free plug there), I came across Lainie's post on the film Romantik ISA. What interested me were the comments underneath. Everyone seemed to be negative about ISA. ISA bad. Not something to be proud of. But I thought people were not getting the point. I wrote this:

The ISA is a very, very useful tool for the Government in this case. You can ensure the safety of your people quickly and easily. How great that is. Why would you want to get rid of it?

I was trying to say, your focus isn't quite on the right thing. You're complaining about a law, when the problem is its implementation.
And then there were the counter-comments to this.

I doubt you'd still be feeling the same when the same act that you evelate for 'protecting' people can put you in custody one day simply because some officials feel like it, disallow you all contact with the world as we know it, AND then throw away the key.

Anyway, Lainie felt her brain was melting. She invited me to write a response as to why the ISA was a good thing.

I have to admit I didn't do that. Instead, I wrote what I really felt about the ISA.

The ISA is a law that has huge loopholes in the system that allow terrible things to happen. I suspect most governments would love to have something like this on their books. Of course, no government is going to say they're going to abuse it.

One interesting thing about the ISA is it is relatively long, but most of the attention is squarely focused on Section 8 (Power to order detention or restriction of persons). Other sections are just as "draconian", but receive relatively little attention. Not surprisingly, incaceration provokes a greater human response than prohibition of printing seditious materials.

The objective of the ISA, simply put, is to allow the government to shortcut due process in order to head off potential threats to the nation. Due process takes time, due process takes effort and little emergencies have a tendency to grow quickly to large ones, and then all hell breaks loose, and we have people bashing each other's heads in for no good reason. The point I want to make was that, if I was the Government, I would want the freedom this law gives me as well. Nobody ever mentions the potential good there is to the country to have a law like this.

I love a law like this. That is, if I can trust my Government.

OK, why don't we build in a safety mechanism to the ISA? They do. It's an Advisory Board. Within three months of an arrest under section 8, the Minister needs to make a presentation in front of this Advisory Board, and the board can decide that the Minister does not have sufficient grounds for detention (technically, it goes up to the Agong first, and then back to the minister... long story). On top of that, each case is reviewed by the Adivisory Board at least once every six months. (However, I think that the Minister is not obligated to follow the advice of that review if he doesn't want to.)

Does the Advisory Board work? Well... general consensus is "not as well as it should". The advisory board is not a court of law and not obligated (I think) to make public its findings. There is no transparency. Who knows what goes on in there.

Now, I'm sort of just rehashing some of what SUHAKAM said in their review of the ISA. Have you read the report?

In the end, their recommendation, in brief, is this: Make people more accountable, make it more transparent. They still want to allow the Government to detain people without trial. The BIG difference is this: Within 29 days of detention, you must charge the prisoner (and then he's arrested under 'normal' laws) or release him. Personally, I like this. Even if it was 90 days, that would be good. At least there is an end in sight.

People's fingers point in the wrong direction most of the time when they criticise the ISA. They point to the law itself, but don't appreciate the Government's need to have a mechanism to help ensure security. They don't consider the intent of the law, they just say it's bad because it's being abused. SUHAKAM, I believe, is the only organisation of note that has actually given a solid, concrete recommendation that both addresses the Government's needs and also protects the rights of citizens in the long run.

Perusing Problems pertaining to the Petaling Street Podcast - Phew!

Well, the second PPS Review Podcast is up, but it was a tough ride this time. It was so easy to do it last week, that I forgot Murphy's Law, and things went all asymmetric watermelon-shaped this time round.

Problems:

• Content: E and I spent far too much time trying to pick out stories. As a result, by the time it came to time to record, our energy levels were low. The enthusiasm was lacking, my humour wasn't on a 'high'. Instead, I should have just short-listed a bunch of them, and then we just work down the list until we ran out of time.
• Recording levels: We not rich people. We no have studio. So, what we do is to take turns at on the minidisc microphone. The first week, we just left it there on the table, and our voices were faint. This time around, E just held it up and we got much closer to the mike. However, it wasn't evenly shared (because my big fat head kept bobbing around) and what we got was a very loud Errolyn, and a loud/soft Dzof.
• Transfer problems: For some reason, everytime I tried to record the MD to the soundcard using a line in, it was shaky, poppy, skipping. Real bad. I had to transfer it three or four times. And the computer kept rebooting when the disc reached a certain point. Don't ask me. I only do IT consultancy for a living.
• Mixing down to... what?: It's still an arcane art for me. How to maximise volume levels while keeping noise to a minimum. This week, I tried separating left and right audio channels, so you heard me from the left, and E from the right. I'm still not sure if it's a good idea or not.
• Fiddly RSS feed: The bloomin' RSS feed doesn't update immediately, and even when it finally does, it doesn't always get the enclosure correct. This means that iTunes subscribers don't see the latest episode. This is the result of trying to use free services at every step of the way, when there is a break in the chain, it breaks the whole system. *sigh*.

The problems don't end there. This week, E is out of KL, so I am partner-less. My backup is also out of KL. A third person is nowhere to be found. Will I be flying solo this weekend?

Shows currently on Astro worth watching

Wow. To be honest, I don't actually watch too much TV or Astro these days. There are shows that I pretty much always catch Malaysian Idol (because it's the local Idol show that isn't AF) and Impian Illyana (for obvious reasons), but this post isn't about them. This post is about well-written, well-produced shows that run against the current opinion that US TV shows are reality-based or rot or both.

• Wonderfalls Star World, Mondays, 10pm Jaye Tyler is unambitious, unassuming and utterly cynical of everything around her. So, she finds it difficult to accept things when inanimate animals begin talking to her: A wax lion, a cow creamer, a teddy bear - anything with an animal design is fair game. Despite her natural skepticism, these totems set Jaye off on bizarre adventures of surprise and serendipity. Very funny, very well written, yet cancelled unexpectedly after half a season. Doesn't matter. At least it'll be easy to watch every episode.


• Lost AXN, Thursdays, 9pm A plane crashes on a not-very-deserted island, and the survivors must learn to cope with the land, the local inhabitants - and each other. I think that this show is the best new series to appear on US televisions last season (and, yes, I'm taking Desperate Housewives into consideration here). It's taut, tense and not afraid to present entire storylines in Korean. Some may find it slow, I say that patient viewers will discover that each episode builds up to an explosive climax.



• House Star World, Tuesdays, 10pm Greg House is a doctor who heals with unusual talent, and yet manages to find time to cut his patients to size with laser-like sarcasm. Like a dramatic Becker who solves medical mysteries. Now add to it some of the funniest dialogue you'll find on dramatic TV, as well as acting so good that by the end you'll willingly hand them a scalpel and a signed consent form. Despite the huge plot holes that most first-year medical students (if not kindergarten graduates) would poke through, it is engrossing, engaging and, yes, entertaining.


• World's Most Dramatic Animal Attacks On Midgets During Police Chases AXN, Wenesd- All right, you got me there. Just kidding. Sheesh.

Labels: tv

Project Petaling Street Review - Podcast Episode 1

Well, yes. I guess I've mistitled this post. I should be pointing it to the actual website that hosts the PPS Review Podcast Page (say that fast with a mouthful of marbles), but that page isn't quite ready yet, and I wanted to finalise it properly before putting it up (RSS feeds, links, email addresses, etc.).

Nevertheless, it's a podcast, it's my first podcast, and I hope that there will be many more to come. You can visit the podcast homepage to download it.

It's meant to be reviews and discussions about posts that are pinged to Project Petaling Street, but we have a tendency to meander once in a while. Covered in this week's episode are "Things I've Learnt About Girls", The Towering Salad, How to Pronounce 'Segue', Proton Myvi/Savvy/Whatevvy, and Ads on Blogs.

And some mosquito catching. Seriously.

So, how come you never update your blog any more?

"So, how come you never update your blog any more?"
"'Cos I've been busy, dude!"

Yes, yes... I'm sure there are a legion of dzof.org fans out there who bemoan the recent silence. However, never let it be said that I'm heartless and uncaring. I present to you... a post!

Now, a list of things that have been keeping me away from the blog:

• Writing. Specifically, I should be telling - nay, forcing - you to watch Impian Illyana. I wrote this week's episode - it says so on the credit, it must be true, regardless of how much the producer and actors changed the dialogue. This week is Week 3, I also wrote weeks 9 and 13 (should be airing 12-16 Sep and 10-14 Oct) and hand a hand in weeks 8 (5-9 Sep) and 11 (26-30 Sep). Got that? It's on NTV7, Mondays to Fridays, 5 minutes per episode, starts at 8.55. The recaps on the weekends are heavily summarised and edited down and have bits missing, so I don't recommend waiting for those.


• More writing. I'm now ramping up to write many, many episodes for a new TV series in August. It will air on Malaysian TV, star many beautiful people and feature the most insightful, amazing writing ever to be seen. If all goes to plan, that is.


• Teaching. I am now a Business Objects Certified Professional and a Crystal Reports Certified Professional for version XI. If you have no idea what that means, it probably doesn't matter. If you do, I'd like to point out that as far as I know, I'm the only certified trainer for BOE XI and CR XI in Malaysia. Like they say, I'm Da Man.


• Consulting. Yeah, it pays the bills. No, the product I've been working on isn't publicly online yet.

Is that enough for a post?

Why the Star report is Bad for Bloggers

At first I wanted to write a serious post. Really serious. However I doubt that anyone really wants to read that kind of self-important tosh, so if I sound flippant, it's the negative feedback system in play. Truth is, I really want people to hear what I have to say: That Star article marks a turning point for bloggers in Malaysia. Tread carefully, the future's before us.

A little background: Malaysian bloggers rejoiced when blogging was highlighted in the newspapers recently. By in large it was a positive article, but wait. The shadow it casts is long and dark.

Suddenly, a blogger finds herself pulled (as it were) by the short and curlies. Somebody wrote to her: "I was flabbergasted to discover your blog contained profanities and unsuitable materials for children". Minishorts acknowledged this, and sort of apologised, in the economical sense that Minishorts would apologise for being herself. She said she would from now on put up a great big sign on her front page saying "Immature People Who Tell On Us To Parents Are NOT Welcome, Go Away". Well, she didn't really, she was much more polite than that, but you get the drift.

Some said she responded to criticism and fixed a problem. Others may say she allowed her rights to be compromised. Disagree? Stay with me.

I remember once, there was a young lady who posted an article about how a jewellry shop in KL screwed up a job to do something to her ring or something (make it smaller, I think). I don't have a link to that article because she took it down after the owner threatened her with a lawsuit. (I also don't have her blog, because my memory is like... wait, what's it called again?)

Now, she definitely allowed herself to get pushed around a bit, mainly because she thought shoving would be worse for her. She compromised.

Listen to me here: A strength of the Internet is that anybody is allowed to say whatever they want, however they want. Having access to this net of bits and bytes gives you unlimited and widespread freedom of speech.

(Technically, this is not true. Although the Malaysian Constitution allows freedom of speech (article 10), it has to be within the law (article 10 (2)), and the law actually says you can't publish bad stuff (Communications and Multimedia Act 1998 article 211). You've gotta love such well-defined phrases like "intent to annoy, abuse, threaten or harass". I'm not a lawyer, but I can see that this allows the country to protect its citizens against people who publish bad stuff on the internet. )

That strength I wrote about above? I can see some people saying that it's actually a weakness.

But who cares what you say if they're not listening? The only people who used to listen to Malaysan bloggers were Malysian bloggers. We just want to say what we want to say, how we want to say it.

This sort of freedom enables people to loudly declare how much they love each other; it allowed an experimenter to share his results; Religion can be discussed, so can politics, whether seriously or humourously. Oh yeah, there's sex too.

Now, however, more people are listening. Praise the press, blame the press.

Paradoxically, the more people that listen, the less that they want to hear. Interests are intersections, but dislikes are unions. It only takes one person find something offensive to make a whole blog offensive.

Some people ignore when they see something they don't like. Some write to the editors. And some come to your house, knock on your door, and make you feel special.

You cannot blame the Government. They exist to serve and protect. When people complain, they have to be seen to be doing something about it.

But what is "something"? Stronger libel laws that enable large companies to shut up an individual? Greater monitoring, and the publication of a hot-list of blogs with unsuitable keywords? Censorship, and I'm talking about the no-holds-barred, state-sponsored, you-couldn't-stick-a-barn-door-over-it censorship?

Here's my guess. Two things will happen to Malaysian bloggers in the next eighteen months:

1. Bloggers will go underground: They will become anonymous and will severely delink from their real-world selves. All you self-photo bloggers out there, whore no more.
2. Bloggers will strongly self-censor: People self-censor, but they mainly base it on their own principles. I'm talking about the kind of self-censorship where you go, "Hey, is somebody out there with a big stick going to be upset at what I write?".

Either way, it's a compromise. You limit your ablity to say what you want, how you want it. It starts with warnings, it goes on to 'toning down' and before you know it, you don't really say what you mean. It heralds the gradual eradication of your rights as a citizen of the world.

Malaysian bloggers, beware.

(Or maybe we don't have to. Maybe this post is a result of too much caffiene, not enough sleep, and a tendency to feel self-righteous. Flame me, my asbestos suit is on.)

By the way, Brand New Malaysian also has a post on the subject of what happens when bloggers become well-known, but his is on a more individual level.

I gave up a regular job for this?

It's 4.09 in the morning, and I've just finished outlining a plot for a new series that I'm not at liberty to say what it's about. Suffice to say this: it's under time pressure and the dialogue is in Malay. I suffer for my art, and worse, I choose to do so.

I have never (never) written creative work in BM before, not since I was twelve. And even then, it was never any good. I now write entire chunks of dialogue and am told they don't sound natural. Too much BM. Too much English. That's not how kids speak. You can't write this stuff, can you? No s*** Sherlock.

I create plots that are ripped up before my very eyes and recast into something that I then spend an age arguing about before a consensus is reached (based on a hungry stomach and tired eyes). And then I realise as I'm writing it how little of it makes sense.

I stay awake until the wee hours, since that's the only time that nobody rings me up and asks me questions about -what-the-heck-. Things that could have just as easily been answered over email. But I answer them because they're the real paying jobs, unlike this crapola I'm churning out that pays less than 15 sen a word (no, I don't get paid by the word, nor by the hour, I get paid by the number of rewrites. That's right, I get paid by the amount of pain I'm put through).

All this for the glory of hearing my words mangled by a clueless actor, seeing my name obscured by subtitles, of not knowing who watches and who is touched by what I craft.

And you know what? Tonight E said to me, "You wanted to write, you went out and wrote, and now people are paying you for the privilege". And you know what else?

I enjoy every single minute. It's just some of the seconds in between I can't stand.

Folders? They're passe. You want tags, my friend.

Occasionally (and in my case, very occasionally) you get hit by an idea that's so beautiful in it's simplicity that you know it must be right. You might just be walking along the street, or perhaps just about to fall asleep, when things fall into place, and you sit up with a jolt. It's usually something so obvious that you can't believe you never saw it before and you feel the urge to shout it to the world. Of course, it's also very rarely truly original, but that shouldn't diminish the joy of the self-developed insight. I need all the help I can to feel good about myself, you see.

The insight is this: that the folder metaphor structure used in just about every operating system to organise files is actually cumbersome and fiddly, and there is a much better way of doing things.

You see, the problem is that everyone sees nothing but folders when saving and opening files in Windows/Macs/Unix, so you put up with the problems it creates. For example, you can't put a single file in two folders at the same time, so you fiddle around with shortcuts or copies of the original (in Unix you have links, which is probably the best way of handling it).

Another example is that you might over-structure the folders, so to get to those meeting minutes, you go to "C:\My Documents\Company\Meetings\Operational\2005\January\Week_3\Minutes\FinalVersion\" to find them.

And there are more. Trying to keep links up-to-date. Trying to re-organise folders when you realise the old one doesn't work anymore. "Folder flooding" when you realise you've put too many files in the root folder and not enough in the subdirectories. Determining security restrictions when traversing folders. I could go on and on.

Practically all these problems disappear in a single swoop if you replace 'folders' with 'tagging'. Of course, tagging creates problems of its own, but I fairly certain it's better overall.

So what is tagging? Tagging is when you attach a list of keywords together with a file. So, if you know that a file is a meeting concerning marketing held on 5th November, you might tag "meeting marketing 5-Nov-2004" or something like that. Then when you want to find the file again, you go to your tag search engine and enter "meeting marketing Nov" and it might give you what you need.

The beauty is this: the person who creates the file determines the tags, and the assumption is that people who work in the same organisation are more than likely to use the same tags. And you can always add on to tags, or modify them.

"'What?!!' I hear you say. 'There'll be chaos in the streets', 'people will riot', 'everyone will do their own thing and everything will disappear in a confusing, chaotic smoke'".

Well, yes, maybe. But before we discuss the problems, let's look at some real life examples where it kinda works.

Incidentally, people have called this form of organising information 'folksonomy' and although the word is new, the ideas aren't.

• GMail uses 'labels' instead of folders for users to organise their email. You can choose almost any word you want as a label, and you can search emails by their labels. Or you can search emails by any word in the body.
• del.icio.us allows you to keep bookmarks on the Internet, but you use tags instead of folders to organise them. It gives you a long list of words you've used down the right-hand side as a reminder, and, of course, they're all clickable.
• Flickr was probably one of the first websites to popularise the use of tags. You can view all the kitten photos you want. Or maybe you're interested in Audrey Hepburn. Or check out my home town.
• Also, just in case you think that this is a new idea, take a look at the Internet. We've had meta keyword text that allows you to write whatever you like as a descriptor. When you search, some text is given priority (like titles and links) - those act like tag text.

Allegedly the new version of Windows ('Longhorn') was meant to move in this direction. They've dropped it, but I'm sorry they have. Folders? Pfaugh. Give me a search window any day.

Writing

A quick personal blog here, just to keep people-I-know in the real world up-to-date. If they care, that is!

Just recently attended a meeting for a scriptwriter's meeting for a new series. Seeing that I haven't actually written anything, nor have they announced what it is, I shouldn't really say too much about it. Young girl in the city, her trials and tribulations as she interacts with family and friends? Yeah, not much of a hook, and there is - that dreaded word - sponsorship involved. But, no, it's not skin whitening cream. And I'm always assured that there is no need to actively place products in the script. That all gets done in the 'polish' phase.

Incidentally, the process is like this: Get a story outline, write a first draft, get it ripped to shreds/graffitti'ed to the core with comments, write a second draft, get more graffitti, write a third draft and then beat your head against the wall when you realise it's practically the first draft over again.

Writing is a hot, tiring, sweaty process. I close the door, turn off the phone ringer, and hunch over the PC. Yes, I sometimes write in the nude. Especially in the afternoon. It's just more comfortable that way. Sorry for the frightening imagery. Hey, my cats are nude all the time, nobody complains too much about them.

Also submitted 1 (one) script for the Shortcuts competition. I don't mind putting it up for all to see, but let's just wait for the results first, yah? And if I win... (no, please... I'll wait for the laughing to stop before I carry on...) and IF I win, I'll try to put up the film itself. To be honest, I intended to submit more than just the one, but you know what the creative process is like: Hundreds of little ideas, only five or six half-decent ones, only one gets proper treatment. E thinks that there is little to zero chance of it winning because it gets a little controversial (can't think of a better word) at one point. But nothing really bad actually happens, just insinuated.

Internet Censorship in Schools

This post is a direct response to this entry, which was a comment on this article.

(Some of this is based on my experience with the Ministry of Education and discussions re: Internet censorship.)

There are problems associated with any attempt to censor Internet access. Censorship software is not and never will be the complete solution in itself.

For example, it is (always) possible to work out a way around such software. They also have a tendency to block legitimate websites. So, even if you have the filtering software, they will create problems of their own and you will still need to keep a close eye on things.

An improved solution (in my opinion) is to educate users and to also let users know that you are always watching.

You begin by stating clear policy on what is acceptable and unacceptable use of the Internet. This is the education aspect. The best way to do this is still the most general way: to say that the Internet is intended for work and that any unusual use will not be tolerated (give examples: searches for Herbie the Love Bug are okay, Herbie the Love Slave less so, and Lolita the Love Slave certainly not).

Next, you keep logs and occasionally peruse them. Here, you can use some sort of monitoring software. Note that you don't block the access, but you are notified when access happens.

If (or rather, when) somebody crosses the line, you approach the student/teacher involved and you have a nice, long talk with them. This is reinforcement of education, if you like, although I prefer to call it the "are you stupid or what?" phase. You explain what they've done wrong, and (because you've given them fair warning) you punish them. Punishment can range from informing the parents to disabling their account to the usual ritual humiliation in front of the rest of the school.

Note that in this scenario, the monitoring (not filtering) software is only a small part of the whole process and, even then, not strictly necessary. The cost of these software (especially the maintenance) is not trivial and I would argue that the return on investment is poor.

What I have outlined above was exactly what was done in one of the schools I was working with. The headmaster was going through the logs and noticed that teachers were using the Internet to surf dodgy websites, as well as logging on to the Bursa Saham during work hours. He called them up to the office and talked to them. He did the same to a few students.

As a result, word spread through the school that although the Internet was uncensored and free, somebody, somewhere always could find out what you were doing, even days after the event, and self-censorship became the norm.

BTEFNET is dead; Long Live Bittorrent!

Experienced Internet users out there would have noted the recent crackdown by the MPAA, filing lawsuits left, right and center. More than a few Malaysian bloggers have felt this loss and although they moan about it, none have suggested how to help alleviate it.

I'm sure you realise that btefnet is only a directory, a list of pointers to .torrent files. Rest assured that the people sharing their videos are still around; you just need to be able to find them.

I'll focus at where you can get torrents for TV shows, and give the direct links to them, but most of these are links to general torrent sites anyway. I've also ignored sites that require registration:

• MiniNova
• TorrentSpy
• TorrentReactor.NET
• The Pirate Bay
• myBittorrent
• UnrealTorrents

If that doesn't satisfy your hunger, you can always check out Litezone.com, a continually updating directory of bittorrent sites. Unfortunately, sites that require registration are high on their list, so it's a case of caveat downloader.

If you're still really, really desperate to get the same BTEFNET service and don't mind using IRC, then you can log on to #BT on efnet.

Times Warehouse Book Sale

Wow. Haven't written for sooo long. Anyway, big news of the weekend (amongst other large bits of news) is the Times The Bookshop Warehouse Book Sale. I found out about thise from Eyeris and only then The Star. There is an essay knocking around somewhere about how much easier it is to get Klang Valley related news from Project Petaling Street than from conventional news media, but now I want to talk about books.

The joy of a warehouse sale is rummaging through the dross to occasionally stumble across a bargain. Sometimes it's a book you've been wanting to get, but never really had the money for (The Clinton Wars, hardback edition). Sometimes it's a book that looks interesting, but you wouldn't otherwise buy (The Baghdad Blogs). And sometimes it's a book that just goes "look at me, look at me!" (No More Buddha Only Football).

And there are some real bargains if you look at hard enough. E got a box set of Stephen King's Dark Tower (Vol 1-4), still in its plastic wrap, for RM30. The travel books by Let's Go normally retail at RM110, but you can get them at the sale for RM20.

There are also some not-so-bargains. About a third of the room are novels that go for RM20-28, which is still cheaper than normal, but makes me go "Urr, I don't know if I want this" category.

My advice? Arrive early (before 10am), bring a shopping trolley (or one of those wheeled suitcases), lotsa money and clear at least half the day. I managed to get plenty of excercise hauling a box around the room that slowly filled to the brim. The only reason I stopped was because my arms were being pulled beyond their natural length.

For the curious, here is what I managed to rack up in five hours of browsing:

• The Shadow in the North by Philip Pullman - RM8 (RRP RM19.9)
  
• Roma Eterna by Robert Silvreberg - RM8 (RRP RM32.9)
  
• The Complete Roderick by John Sladek - RM8 (RRP RM44.9)
  
• The Simulcra by Philip K. Dick - RM8 (RRP RM34.9)
  
• Enigma by Hugh Sebag-Montefiore - RM8 (RRP RM54.9)
  
• Dr Riemann's Zeros by Karl Sabbagh - RM8 (RRP RM54.9)
  
• The Clinton Wars by Sidney Blumenthal - RM20 (RRP RM78 est)
  
• Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson - RM15 (RRP RM89.9)
  
• Pirates, Prophets and Pioneers by Debora Spar - RM15 (RRP RM90 est)
  
• I Have Landed by Stephen Jay Gould - RM8 (RRP RM49.9)
  
• Let's Go Eastern Europe - RM20 (RRP RM109.9)
  
• Masters of Doom by David Kushner - RM8 (RRP RM40 est)
  
• Mastering German by Antony Peck - RM8 (RRP RM37.9)
  
• No More Buddha Only Football by Chris England - RM8 (RRP RM40 est)
  
• The Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams - RM8 (RRP RM33 est)
  
• The New Discworld Companion by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Briggs - RM8 (RRP RM44.9)
  
• DNA by James Watson - RM8 (RRP RM59.9)
  
• Bringing Down the House by Ben Mezrich - RM8 (RRP RM39.9)
  
• The Private Adam by Shumley Boteach - RM8 (RRP RM49.9)
  
• The Baghdad Blog by Salam Pax - RM8 (RRP RM45 est)
  

And, yes. I am assuaging my guilt over spending RM198 by telling myself what I actually did was save more than RM850.

Would I go back? Erm, yeah. There were copies of Michael Palin's Sahara that I was mulling over for RM40 (RRP RM120), as well as rumours of Jonathan Strange and Mr Norell being sold (but I didn't see any on the Saturday). And a few other odds and ends.

4 May 2005
The National Museum of Photography, Film and Television

One thing I like about London is that it charges no admission to some of the best museums in the world. Although this may seem unfair to non-Londoners, because their collections are so vast, they occasionally transfer a large number of them to a different part of the country and set up a new museum. This means that even those in places like Bradford others can enjoy the exhibits. Why you would want to do this, I don't know. It's the equivalent of moving a museum to Taiping or Butterworth.

The National Museum of Photography, Film and Television is an offshoot of the Science and Technology museum. It has also inherited a substantial collection from the now-defunct Kodak museum. Right here in Bradford. If I sound surprised, so would you, if you've seen the rest of Bradford.

I like this museum. I learn things when I go into the museum. The whole history of photography is there (albeit from a very English point of view) and that's just in the basement alone. There is an interesting section on the news, and in particular how choosing and editing what news to show can change the story. Did you know the picture of Dodi leaning in to "kiss" Diana was doctored? He was initially looking away from her and they flipped his head around.

On the top floor they have a small section on advertising. I spent almost an hour just watching various advertisements, including four specially-made-for-the-web BMW ads (the ones with Clive Owen and a bunch of other people). Good fun.

Probably the best permanent exhibit of the museum is the Television Series library. You can choose from a catalogue of hundreds of UK television shows, particularly those that were ground-breaking and innovative, or simply those that were very good. The librarian puts them on for you and you watch them in a private booth.

And all this for free. Admittedly, so of the exhibits could do with some maintenance, but on the whole, it's a pleasant way of passing the afternoon.

However, the icing on the cake is the cinemas, including an IMAX theatre. I just missed an IMAX version of Spiderman 2 (darn) but am in time to catch the Bradford Film Festival. The only problem is that there are so many films on that I don't know what to watch.

3 March 2005
Manchester

Ah. The unifying power of football. MAS flies to Manchester directly, and one reason they do so, I bet, is because so many Malaysians study there or thereabouts. Put all the blame on one Manchester United, that's what I say. That's how most Malaysians know about English geography - through their football teams. If it wasn't for weekly premier league on Astro, the names of Charlton, Portsmouth, Fulham, Bolton and - yes, Manchester - would be lost on most Malaysians.

For those who are wondering, I am indeed now in England, and will be for the next two weeks, while I fulfill my fratenal responsibilities, watching my brother get his call to the bar, seeing him grow into a man, as well as sponge off him for a free-ish two week holiday. After all, he now earns much more than I do (poor ol' me, penniless writer that I am).

The plane journey was uneventful (apart from those brief moments of doubt when the wheels part and then later meet the ground). Incidentally, Lost will be showing on AXN starting next... Thursday, I think. It starts with a plane crashing into an island. Actually, it breaks up in mid-air and then falls in many distinct separate pieces. And yet, still more than five dozen people survive. It's something to remind yourself of while bumping through turbulance.

After wheels down (does it show that I watch too much West Wing?), I surprisingly sauntered through immigration without any problems, and my bags were one of the first off the carousel. That's one advantage of travelling via Manchester - it isn't so busy, and the airport is much nicer anyway.

However, I was only ten steps away from freedom when I encountered my first ever in-depth customs interrogation. All my life of travelling, and I've never ever had more than half-a-minute's worth of conversation with a custom's officer. It's this uncouth, unshaven, unkempt look I carry with me these days that attracts the attention, I tell you. Like Jose Mourinho, but without the dapper Italian styling.

I think I was visibly nervous. I don't like being questioned. It makes me feel guilty. Just imagine what I would be like if I really had something to hide.

First came the nonchalant, cursory look through my passport. He seemed interested in my immigration chop from my trip to Singapore.

"Isn't like Singapore and Malaysia one bit of land."
"They're different countries."

The nervousness won out, and I began babbling a semi-incoherent stream about how Singapore used to be in Malaysia but isn't now, and how the two countries are part of the same peninsular, and how they're joined by two bridges. And on, and on...

While I was doing this, he rifled through my clothes. He paused to read thourgh a letter a friend wanted me to post in England (which I thought was a little off). As much as I wanted to say, "You know, that's private and you should keep your prying, peeping, piggy eyes off them", what came out was "Singapore. Always stealing our water and silting our land."

You should have seen his eyes when he saw the DVD booklet. (As a favour to my brother, I brought with me a few DVDs. Just twenty or thirty, you know, to pass the quieter moments during this trip.)

"These are films, are they?"
"Yah. My brother wanted me to bring a few over."
(flick, flick, flick)
"Some of these look pretty new."
"Some old ones, some new ones."
"You've got quite a collection here.

Damn. Stupid Intellectual Property laws. Damn you, Berne Convention. I half expected the words, "right mate, you're nicked" to come out. It was a little unbearable. I kept trying not to look at the plastic bag of ikan bilis, sambal and pandan leaf that seemed next on the list.

I kept babbling about Singapore. Like, you know how intense the football rivalry is between the two countries.

"Watch a lot of football, do you?"
"Oh, plenty. Lots. Get the Premier League every weekend on the TV."
"Oh? Which team do you follow?"
"The Villa."
"Hah, what did ya think of last week's game?"
"We lost."
"You're right. We beat ya. Everton."

We spent the next minute talking about how well Everton was doing this season, and whether they would make the Champion's League. There was no more talk of contraband, and certainly no close-up inspection of my instant nasi lemak package. Pretty soon, we said goodbye, with me wishing the best of luck for the rest of the season.

Ah. The unifying power of football.

Belly Dancing Hot Potato

Should somebody who's responsible also be held accountable? Normally, yes, but there are exceptions...

The Selangor Public Accounts committee (PAC) organised a trip to Egypt for eleven people. A few days before it was due to take place, opposition assemblyman Ng Suee Lim pulled out, citing disatisfaction with the eight-day itinerary - it included a trip down the Nile with belly dancing, and he felt it was inappropriate use of public funds.

Now, the issue is that the tour operator still needs to be paid, since it all happened at the last minute.

Solution? Since Ng (DAP, Sekinchan) had caused the cancellation, the PAC has suggested that accountability should lie with him.

In particular, Datuk Ahmad Bhari (BN, Taman Templer), the tour coordinator for PAC, suggested that the state cut Ng's allowances as compensation.

I suppose his logic is, "if he had kept his mouth shut, they wouldn't have cancelled the trip, so it's his fault-lah".

I guess he must be peeved with all this, especially since he'd taken the effort to draw up the itinerary in the first place, eh?

Illegal Immigrant Workers: Good or Bad thing?

There has been some press lately over the 'extension' to the amnesty granted to illegal foreign workers. Although the newspapers are filled with statements from the government, very little has been written (as far as I can see) about why the government may be not serious about kicking out illegals. Anyway, how did this all come about?

The truth is, if all illegal immigrants left at the same time, large sectors of the service and construction industry would grind to a halt. It's not uncommon these days to order somethig in a mamak stall and discover that the waiter doesn't speak Malay, but is instead memorising phrases which are repeated to the kitchen. I'm particular sometimes about what I order ("kuah dhal satu, campur dengan kuah kari ikan sikit"), so I do get other people coming back to me to check what I said.

It's easy to take advantage of the low wages that the illegals are willing to work for. In a sense, it fuels the local economy by keeping costs low and subsequently increasing demand. A part-timer at KFC or McDonalds makes RM4 an hour plus meals. Just imagine what a construction worker or mamak shop backroom cook would be making.

In fact, illegal workers aren't really a problem if they're working.

It's not necessarily a bad thing. The problem stems from the increasing education and expectation of the general public. Someone who has been to University isn't going to be happy with a menial job. In short, an increasing reliance on lower-income foreign workers is an indicator of the standard of living of the average citizen.

The problems begin when there isn't enough work to do and many of these immigrants find themselves out of a job. In order to survive, they need to turn to an alternative means of income, some of them possibly illegal.

So, if we take an increased demand to mean a good thing, then a decreased demand for foreign workers may mean a bad thing: that the economy isn't as strong as before.

Of course, when you have a surplus, the easiest way to solve it is to get rid of the surplus, to ship them back from where they came from.

Therefore, it is in the country's interest to be lax allowing illegal workers in, so it's easier to get rid of them later.

iPod Blues

Not two days after I wrote up my "ain't iPods great" post, guess what? My iPod died.

I mean like, completely died. Nothing on the LCD, no reassuring wheel clicks, zip when I plug it into a computer or a power outlet.

As you might understand, I was very upset. Very.

Anyway, here are a list of things to do when your iPod dies:

• Cry. Because things really are that bad.


• Gather together the box and all the accessories that came with your beloved player. The receipt is very important. Mine had almost, but not quite, faded away, so they printed me a new one.


• Be patient. Apple Malaysia, it seems, is extremely bureaucratic, which means it will take at least three working days for anything to happen. Even to just replace a non-working unit with a new one.


• Be thankful that you had the foresight to back up all that music before you deleted them from your PC. Remember, just because you transferred stuff to an external hard disk, doesn't mean that it's immune to backups.

Hopefully, by next week, sanity will have returned to the universe again.

Tsumoney

I'm in a mood for a rant. Things haven't been going so well lately, and I feel rant-ful. What I am going to complain about has been around for some time, so it's less a case of insight and more of "me too".

We all know about the tsunami that occured last December and the devastation it caused. We also know of the vast amounts raised as people responded by the millions. Well, so have corporations. How do we know this? Because they tell us so. Over and over again.

I have no problems with corporations that donate anonymously, without a lot of fanfare. They're doing a good thing. On the other hand, the ones that present large mock cheques and appear on the front pages strike me as being self-serving. I have no idea how much an ad on the front page of a national daily costs, but they'd better be donating at least that much. But, still, I grit my teeth and bear it.

However, the ones I really get upset about are those who promise to donate on your behalf but only if you buy theiir products. "10% donated to tsunami aid for every purchase", it says. I'd rather them give me a 10% discount and trust me to donate the rest myself. They can even put a strongbox next to the restaurant. But don't dress up what is basically a promotion or advertisement as an act of generosity.

I'm still waiting for the ad that says, "Instead of buying an RM8 cup of coffee from us, give the money to someone who needs it".

iPod: The problem with getting something good is that you'll want something better.

I've finally gotten my iPod. After months - actually, closer to years - I've finally succumbed and bought an iPod (and not some Creative clone).

What's good about the iPod? Well, before you even use it, there's the packaging. It's beautifully wrapped up in a dinky little box which unfolds and unfurls to reveal the iPod and its accessories (a pair of headphones, two connection cables, a power adaptor and a plug thing, if you're counting).

Then there's iTunes, the desktop software that acts as a interface between your real-life music and your iPod. As a player by itself, I still prefer Winamp, but it's hard to see how they could radically improve on the design as an iPod conduit.

iTunes works pretty much the way you would expect it to work. It's actually a front-end to all the MP3 files you have on your hard disk. If your MP3 files are on a folder, you add the folder. If you have a music CD, you insert the CD, and it converts it to digital format and stores it on the hard disk. When you change the properties of the MP3s, you're changing the MP3 meta-information, not information in some proprietary database. There is some information related to volume levels, start and stop times and equaliser settings that are kept in iTunes, but they have no ID3 counterparts anyway.

There's also this thing called 'intelligent playlists'. You set criteria, and it can update playlists dynamically. So, for example, if you want songs that have a certain word in the title, you just set up the playlist, and everytime you add more songs that fit the criteria, the playlist gets updated. Works much better than I explain it, trust me.

Finally, the iPod itself. Small, dinky, stylish. It also has an ingenious interface designed to be used with one thumb. It does exactly what it's meant to do very well. You can even operate the basic functions in the dark. Now, I've taken to keeping the iPod in my top pocket and keep looking as if I'm rubbing my nipple when I change volume and tracks.

Also, in my case, 20GB of disk space. Or, if you prefer it in apples, about 200 albums. I've dumped everything I have in my collection, but I still have more than half the space left.

The problem of having everything so good is that you want MORE. The following list are things that are "could have" things that would make good things better:

• No lyrics: You can embed lyrics into an MP3 file, but neither iPod nor iTunes can read them.
• Transferring CDs to the iPod require an intermediate step: You have to rip them to the hard disk first and can't transfer stuff directly to the iPod. Ditto with internet radio and some video formats
• Gets warm: When it's charging, the iPod gets hot. Well, at least my nipple's warm first thing in the morning.
• Text files: You can read text files on the iPod, but they are limited to 16kb files. Well, the screen isn't really designed for reading either. But wouldn't it be good if I could load up my novels into the iPod and read them while listening to Debbie Gibson? Eh?

First time for everything

So, I've finally broken free of my luddite chains and have moved into the 21st Century. This is the first posting I've done on dzof.org over a WLAN connection. Specifically, off my mother's Dell Inspiron in Mont Kiara using the available timezone WLAN connection.

But, alas, I have no WIFI notebook of my own, so this is but a fleeting brush with modernity. What to do?

Hmm... maybe I should set up a Buy Dzof A WIFI Enabled Notebook Fund.